Glimpse of Legality
They say that at the age of 18, things would be different, legal age as known by the many and in the face of law. Well it really is different, like a slap that you know that will hurt but still gets shocked.
I reached my legal age amid quarantine, it felt sad actually, hoping that that special day would be an actual fun but it happened the opposite way. I never wanted that fancy party, just a simple family and friends get together yet, things must go according to the quarantine protocols.
At that period, I’m hesitant of my decisions, aside from choosing what path to take in a few years, the thought of prioritizing bugs me out. “Hey there girl, move your ass up and start building your path, matanda ka na.” “Panganay ka, bawal mag fail.”
They see me as that outgoing and firm with my choices. I often receive remarks about being good about what I do, some even says they wanted to be like me but deep inside, I would like them to re-evaluate their choice.
Adding the factor that almost all the interactions and performances, whether it be academic or off-school related activities, were made online, I could not justify myself being as good as I was before. Productivity is a product of deadline, procastination is not just an actual 'may bukas pa' but a fight with an unknown force of disappointment and frustration. It’s difficult to say you’re doing good upon entering college, you’ll doubt yourself and decisions.
In a span of more than half a year of being so called legal, it just sucks. It’s hard to decide on things that will surely affect my state in a few years. Moreover, this pandemic made me hostile of anxiety attacks and breakdowns—I am exhausted.
Trying to cope up is hard, like picking yourself up in the bed or cuddle for hours with your pillow fighting the racing thoughts that has been running on your mind since last night, surviving the depths of the night wishing that someone could hug you to ease your pain.
18, a teen.
Transition to the so called actual realm where things, most of the time, would never be by your side. Maturity, as what they say starts here, I beg to disagree.
Reaching 18 doesn’t equate to maturity for most of us grew in an environment of survival, the society shall dictate whether you pass or fail. Being 18 is a snap for you to live your life without destroying yourself and your future.
Things from now on would be different. You have gained rights, even perks, especially if you are to deal with government and public service. You’ll feel like being left out but hey, you have your pace and time.
Being 18 is more than a n umber but a series of realization.
